The telephone rang and John said, "What are you doing tomorrow? Can you help me with a little job?" "What's that then John?" I asked him. "Oh I have to pick up a body from up country a bit. Shouldn't take long. We could start about 6am....I'll pick you up." I agreed and at 6 John arrived in the hearse. "No van John?" "No", said he,  "brought this one instead" I asked where we were going to and he said "oh its not far...I've looked on my map and its only about half an inch" Now I didn't know John's map consisted of a page in his small pocket diary and 'half an inch' was a bloody long way.......to Newcastle-Upon- Tyne as it happened! So off we set and drove for hours!

Having arrived , had some lunch, collected the cargo, we set off. John then announced that he wanted to make a small detour. "I have a funeral day after tomorrow and need to collect a coffin from the makers..they can't deliver in time!"....dread filled me.....quite rightly as it happens..... "We just have to pop over to Birkenhead near Liverpool to collect it"......"What the  ********" was my response. "I suppose its only a quarter of an inch in you diary map!!"

So having arrived in Birkenhead, we got to the factory who were about to close up, but the owner offered John a tour of the works. Now John could not resist that offer so off we went. Only undertakers could find the making of funerial boxes interesting, but John asked so many questions even the owner was getting tired!

Eventually we got away, Two coffins and one body later, we set off for home, arriving at some ridiculously late hour.

The moral to the tale was that whenever John rang and used the words "Can you help me with a little job tomorrow"....the answer is always..."sorry John....I'm busy!!" Advice I passed onto others, but I know a few forgot when the call came.

Rest in peace John. You were a good friend over the years.

Mick Mitchell